On Feeling Alone

I wrote this poem at a time when I felt completely confused and frustrated. I was racking my brain for someone I could turn to- someone who would completely understand me.

It dawned on me, then, that nobody in the world has the exact genetic makeup, is living the exact day to day life, and is coming from the exact same background as me.

Therefore nobody can ever completely understand who I am, why I do the things I do, and what is going on in my head at any given time.

I guess it's the same for everyone else in this world. Because there is no one person on this earth who is living the exact same life as anyone else.

So this is for everyone who has ever known the feeling of being surrounded by people and yet completely alone.

Exactly Like Me

Nobody knows the way I feel,
What's in my heart- beyond its seal.

You'll never know the frustration within,
That burns me alive- not even my kin.

One can't unlock what's in my soul.
I can tell you, but still, you won't know.

I hate myself for which I speak,
A solution to this is what I seek.

Nobody holds the key to me,
So you'll never know the emotions that be.

That fester, and churn, and grown, and yearn
To get rid of them all, I wish to learn.

Why is it, there is no one, exactly as I am?
With whom I can speak, who will understand?

But I know that there will never be,
Someone who is... exactly like me.

Esdee Kay

On Death

A week ago, a newly wed woman in her younger twenties was tragically taken from this world. She had been driving in the early hours of the morning when the car flew across the ice and crashed.
She died on that morning, when just the night before she had been alive and vibrant, pulsing with breath and blood.
She had goals and dreams, ambitions and aspirations.
She was living a life that she believed would continue from day to day.
But she was wrong.


How does anyone accept such news?
How can anyone keep going through the motions as if nothing happened if for that second the shock penetrated and reverberated deep in their hearts.
If they said to themselves, 'That could have been me.'
or my spouse, or child, or friend.


How can we accept that a person who lived an essentially good life- a person who didn't steal, murder, or commit adultery, was just taken from this world without seeming cause or reason?
We believe that if we are good and try our hardest in this world than life will continue as it is.
I guess, reality doesn't always agree with us.


This tragic occurance should strike a chord deep within all of us.

For it shows that we never know what tomorrow will bring- if we will even be given the chance to ask forgivness, or forgive another.
To say hi to someone we love,
or tell them, 'i love you.'
To see another snowflake
or another bright sun, that signals a new day and the many new possibilities it brings.
In one second we can become nothing but the dust of the earth.
Dust doesn't get married or have kids;
doesn't watch sunsets and feel love.
It doesn't nurse the sick or give to someone for no other reason than to be kind.

So we'd better make today count so that we may merit a tommorrow.